A New Kind of ‘What if...’

What if...

...having the right attitude mattered more to me than being certain about making the right choice?

...instead of ruminating and second guessing, I trusted God to show me anything I need to see more clearly?

...I remembered that God is capable of turning my messes into something great?


...after carefully making a decision, I moved on and let God be responsible for the outcome?

...I left it up to Him to do everything perfectly, rather than thinking it’s my job to never make mistakes?

...I fully engaged with my family, rather than being distracted by the thoughts and decisions that can swirl around my mind?

...I considered all the times when God has arranged things so much better than I ever could?

...I trusted Him to figure out the timings, rather than assuming I know best?

...I reflected on the times when I didn’t need to have wise words because God himself showed the other person the way forward?

...I chose to look down on shame, giving it no influence over my decisions, rather than letting the fear of shame control me? (Ooh – I just saw that  ‘Shame Interrupted’ by Edward T. Welch  is available at a very low price on Kindle right now!)

...I followed Corrie Ten Boom’s advice, and chose to Nestle into God rather than Wrestling constantly with various issues?   (I’ve just ordered her book, ‘Just Nestle, Don’t Wrestle’)

...I recognised the times when fear has got hold of me and stopped to apply the above at that time?

I think that would be great.  In fact, I’m going to try it.

Medical Stress

Of all the issues in life, it seems silly that my children's minor medical issues are what so often cause me the most stress. 

We are fortunate to have great doctors and nurses here where we live, and we are grateful to be free from serious medical problems, but I still stress about things like:

- Should I take my child to the clinic? 

- Do I assume it's a virus or might it be an infection that needs treatment?

- Is my child's asthma bad enough right now to need a doctor?

- Can I send them back to school yet?

It seems like all my desires and insecurities are battling together:

* My hatred of making decisions
* My (often hidden) desire for excitement and attention
* My fear of putting people out
* Not wanting to be seen as ridiculous
* Wanting to follow black-and-white rules
* My dislike of staying home with ill children

One thing I know is that I need to get over my fear of getting it wrong.  I have to remind myself regularly that I'm a human and am not all-knowing or all-wise.  It's good to be aware of all my motives, but sometimes I'll think it all through carefully and still get it wrong.  And that's ok.  And if ok with that, I'll spend less energy stressing about the little things.

Being at Peace with Getting it Wrong

I realised something about myself this week, after reading from the book of Romans (8:15) in the Bible:

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.

I realised that the vast majority of fear in my life is related to me doing or saying the wrong thing.  Whether my fear is an irrational, obsessive one, or just a thought that passes through my head, it's usually something to do with me getting something wrong.

"What if I say x and someone interprets it as y and then z happens" (with 'z' often being a highly catastrophic outcome).

It works for the past too: I can obsess over what I've already written or said, and sometimes over what disastrous consequence might happen as a result.

But God didn't design me to be a super human who never makes mistakes and who excels in every area.  He knows I don't think quickly in a crisis.  He knows I'm not a perfect listener.  He knows I might recall the wrong information, or interpret a situation incorrectly.  Yet he tells me that I am not a slave to fear; I am his Child and he is my Father. 

Even when I confess to doing something that I knew was a bad idea, he meets me with grace and forgiveness.

God is big enough to deal with my messy situations, and even to turn them into something wonderful.  It's God's job to do everything perfectly; it's my job to love him and love others the best I can.

I know that whether I get it right or get it wrong, God is still the perfect healer.  And so I have peace.